New Wheels, New Year 2014

New Years Day 2014, Seward Park, Seattle. Riding scooters and enjoying a rain-free day in winter in the PNW. Lots of other families and couples and friends. A great day to be here now, creating possibilities from nothing, right now, together.

Evelyn, 6 years old

People I love: Evelyn, Todd and Finley (faking his sad face! :))

Finley in action on his scooter!

Finley and Evelyn riding the zip line at Seward Park, New Years Day 2014

All Creatures Great and Small

Okay, yes it's been almost five months since this happened but I'm gonna' post it anyway. I'm going to try to catch up a bit this week.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013, our guinea pig, Cinnamon, passed on, leaving us after a frantic trip to the veterinarian and heroic efforts to revive her. We held a graveside service on Thursday afternoon with the neighbor boys joining us. We shared words of comfort with each other, "all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all." Evelyn said what a good guinea pig she was and how we will miss her. We hope she is in guinea pig heaven with no predators, endless fresh grass, dandelion leaves and timothy hay galore!


Friday brought a different end; Todd's ski season for 2012-2013. After a couple fun runs at Alpental Todd caught an edge just as he and my brother, Peter, were coming down to the lodge and took a tumble. Seems he broke his right thumb and damaged his right knee. Preliminary exams point to a torn ACL

Yellow the Bracken, Golden the Sheaves...

Autumn

Yellow the bracken

Golden the sheaves

Rosy the apples,

Crimson the leaves:

Mist on the hillside,

Clouds grey and white.

Autumn, good morning!

Summer, good night!

--Florence Hoatson

Children playing outside with neighbor kids on a beautiful fall day. October 1st and they are still in shorts and t-shirts. A  lemon garlic chicken is roasting in the oven. Doors are open to the late afternoon sun. The dining room table is covered with stacks of photographs, organized by year. Stacks of memorabilia, wedding announcements, memorial service programs, movie and concert ticket stubs, postcards from friends and family from Hong Kong, Austria, Ireland and Massachusetts. Pictures of Todd and me, in shorts with tan, fit arms and legs and pants in much smaller sizes. :)

 My oldest friend's mom passed away yesterday, September 30th, after long years of suffering with Alzheimer's.  Perhaps this heightens my awareness of what is laid out before me. I hold each photo and program and postcard tenderly as I place it in the file box. I've organized things by year, by event, by vacation, as though I could ever untangle their colorful threads that hold my life together now.

Waves of gratitude to all my loved ones make me sit down with the box of tissue. Sweet sentiments on anniversary cards from Todd, birthday cards with such wonderful words a daughter could ever hope to hear from parents. There are letters from grandparents living in nursing facilities, or retirement centers. A stack of sympathy cards for Todd when his mother passed away in 1998. Christmas letters from cousins, aunts and uncles, birth announcements from college friends, graduation photos of nephews and nieces, these photos of backpacking and igloo building. It is all so amazing and wonderful and it is my life. 

First Day of School!

Finley's first day of 3rd grade and Evelyn's first day of Kindergarten! I can't believe the day is finally here. I've thought of it many times on rainy afternoons when the kids were driving me crazy. Now, I'm alone in a quiet house, wondering what to do with a day to myself... (Don't worry. I won't have any problem filling it up!)

Last Day of Swim Lessons (for now!)

After many months of having it on our "want" list, I signed the kids up for swim lessons and they have loved it! We had four weeks straight of swim lessons every morning. The frequency of the lessons and the great instructors have really made a difference. Finley went from being totally afraid of putting his face in the water and bugged by water in his ears, to doing hand stands in the water and swimming with his face in the water. On the last two days of class they used goggles and they had fun seeing underwater and oohing and ahhing over how far down the pool dropped off in the deep end. Great fun to watch their progress and the process of how human beings overcome their fears and try new things in a positive environment. Great fun to watch. I'm reminded of what a happy priviledge it is being a parent!

Teacher Jen and Finley and Evelyn on the last day of their first session of swim lessons.

A Year's Sabbatical

Evelyn's birthday seems to be a tipping point in my year. My last entry was for her birthday last year and here we are again, just past her 5th birthday in August. I've been deeply moved by so many experiences that I have hesitated to share them or try to present an appropriately public version of these events for my blog. An exhausting and yet exhilerating year. Conflict, challenges, mistakes and remorse in relationships and self-care, with equal parts joy, fun times and spiritual renewal.

Evelyn's 4th Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Evelyn! She turned 4 on August 13th. How is that possible?????

Longing and Patience, 18 Years

A poem by Mary Oliver, "March":

There isn't anything in this world but mad love. Not in this world. Not tame love, calm love, mild love, no so-so love.And, of course, no reasonable love. Also there are a hundred paths through the world that are easier than loving. But, who wants easier? We dream of love, we moon about, thinking of Romeo and Juliet, or Tristan, or the lost queen rushing away over the Irish sea, all doom and splendor. Today, on the beach, an old man was sitting in the sun. I called out to him, and he turned. His face was like an empty pot. I remember his tall, pale wife; she died long ago. I remember his daughter-in-law. When she died, hard, and too young, he wept in the streets. He picked up pieces of wood, and stones, and anything else that was there, and threw them at the sea. Oh, how he loved his wife. Oh, how he loved young Barbara.
I stood in front of him, not expecting any answer yet not wanting to pass without some greeting. But his face had gone back to whatever he was dreaming. Something touched me, lightly, like a knife-blade.I felt I was bleeding,though just a little, a hint. Inside I flared hot, then cold.I thought of you.
Whom I love,
madly.

Todd and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary on July 24th. We were too poor to do much and we shared one card and wrote to each other on it, laughing at how things have come to this.

Mom and Dad, who will celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary this August, are getting ready to get into their new townhome. We are excited to get to be part of the family team helping out with the move. My sister, Pam, was out from Iowa and we had a fun time getting to catch up a little. She was a big help to my parents with packing up and getting ready for the move. Can't wait to celebrate with Mom and Dad in their new place. It's been a long journey for them with lots of frustration along the way. Patience, patience, patience....

Fourth of July and Garden Scenes

The Role of Boredom In Our Lives

I was bored this week. I don't usually think of myself as having any time to be bored but that's the irony. This week I was bored of the things I was busy with. I had so much to do and none of it inspired me. I was even bored of parenting. Now before you think of me as a bad parent, you must understand I never stop loving my children but I long for other things. The every day tasks, the neediness, the routine. I was just completely done with it emotionally. Looking back at the way I dealt with stress as a child and teenager, I can see how much personal and alone time I required. This week was a good reminder of how much I need the time by myself. Last night Todd watched the kids while I locked myself in the bathroom and played violin for two hours. I felt immeasurably refreshed afterwards. Big sigh.....

I can also feel myself being drawn back to the many interests I put on hold while the kids were infants and toddlers. Now that Evelyn in almost four and Finley is 7 1/2 I have a little more energy to poke my head up above the fog and see longer term goals and desires again. There's a shift in energy taking place in our household. Life is just a series of transitions.

Today we spent a good portion of the day at Lake Wilderness in the wonderful sun, playing in the sand, floating on inflatable rafts. Balance is restored in my universe.

Anybody Want A Peanut?

Evelyn in baking mode, channeling Martha Stewart????
The view of Mt. Shuksan on morning of Ski to Sea Race.
Our crazy "Family Business" teams, 1 and 2 the night before our race!
Our crazy and TIRED "Family Business" teams 1 and 2 AFTER the race!
Spa day in the Sargeant household.
Finley and Evelyn waiting for me with Todd while I did a little Xcountry skiing.
Todd's 45th birthday in April! Happy Birthday Todd!
Evelyn and Finley ready to go home after Powder Pigs!
Our little student...
One of the first times Finley went up on the chair lift!
Pizza, pizza, french fries, french fries....

The kids and I have been watching "Princess Bride", over the past few weeks and I love the quotable quotes from that movie. I like this quote because of it's context in the movie. The two underlings rebel in their own way against the abusive boss man, Vezzini, by speaking in rhyme and making a game out of it, even as he berates and insults them. "No more rhymes! I mean it!" yells Vezzini. Fezzik replies, "Anybody want a peanut?" I think of it as a type of inspiration for life! Don't ever let 'em get you down!

Also, just watched Will Ferrill and Maggie Gyllenhall sp?, in the movie, "Stranger Than Fiction". Loving good fiction and literature I really enjoyed it. Kind of reinspires me to keep living the life I really want.

The more masochistic members of my family signed up for the Bellingham Ski to Sea Race this past Memorial Day Weekend. I being one of them. I completed the cross country leg in record time! Slow that is! LOL I wasn't last but close to it. These kinds of experiences just have to make you appreciate the role of pain and suffering in our lives. I'm not sure what that is, but one should appreciate them right?

Finley is literally counting down the days until school is over. Todd and I are gearing up for summer projects and little mini-vacations. Although with kids, is there any such thing as a "Mini vacation"? They all seem to take the same effort.

I am looking at programs to earn my teaching certification for elementary education. I'm so excited! I probably should have done this a long time ago, but in any case, I'm doing it now. Many things in my life have been leading me in this direction for a long time. I have been rebelling against my own skills and talents, wishing for those I don't possess while trying to discount the ones I do. I've loved being the art docent in Finley's first grade class and have enjoyed getting to know the kids and the teachers. And I've learned a lot about art history in the process!

Garden wise, things are very lush with all the rain this spring. My vegetable garden is sparse right now. Not much inspiration with the lack of sun this spring. Lettuce, radishes and carrots are doing fine though. Our wild salmon berries are in full bloom so hoping for some fun picking episodes for the kids. My purple clematis is blooming right now and the roses are close to blooming. Framed by spires of foxglove and surrounded by mounds of lady's mantle, my garden is finally starting to look like the cottage garden I dream of! Hostas are humongous and colombines are dainty and prolific. I love it. It's all in need of a little weeding but everything is so lush it still provides beauty and relaxation when I walk outside in the mornings and evenings. Having a little piece of earth is heaven...

Even in the midst of losing loved ones and acknowleging one's own mortality, there is such beauty in our lives. Todd and I don't get a lot time together but when we do we find our sense of humor still in tact, our desire to spend time together still there. It will have been 18 years of marriage this July and even though we do our share of driving each other crazy, I still enjoy his company. A good man...