Even three months into 2011, I haven't quite felt like welcoming this new year. Disappointments and grief have marked these first few months so I haven't felt much like blogging. Even my private diary hasn't had many entries. I've been on auto pilot...
In December we finally completed our short plat for our property. However, our hopes for my parents buying it and building a home behind ours were crushed when the appraisal for our home and half acre came in too low for our mortgage company to approve the sale of the second lot. Well, let me rephrase that: they wouldn't let us sell it for a reasonable price. We would have had to charge almost twice what the market would currently warrant. Our mortgage company wouldn't even talk to us about the deal until we'd gotten a boundary survey and had the short plat approved. Thus, thousands of dollars later: ARGGH! We've all had to regroup and think of plan B and C options.
My dear aunt, Charlotte, my mom's younger sister and only sibling, also passed away in January, leaving us all shocked, grieved and reminded of how quickly our lives can change. Life is such a mystery and we must love while we are here. There is no other reason for existence but to ease the burden of each other's lives and add joy where we are able. Charlotte did just that and we can be inspired and motivated to make sure our relationships are full of love and forgiveness and fun!
So, that's how the year has begun. In the midst of the suffering though, there have been many moments of bittersweet joy, profound and meaningful insights and epiphanies. I find myself not depressed, but rather frustrated and thwarted and maddened by the roadblocks in my life right now. I've been blessed with the support of family and friends. For that I am beyond grateful. I'm thankful beyond words for Todd's love for me and the kids and his unwavering commitment and patience and problem solving attitude. He's so willing to forgive and move on and his sense of humour is a blessing.
I just finished reading the book, "Half the Sky". A married couple, Pulitzer Prize winning journalists, wrote it about the oppression of women around the world. It was inspiring and a catalyst for attitude changes in my life, similar to the reaction I had after reading "Three Cups of Tea." Great book! If more people, including policy makers and politicians on both sides of the aisle, would read it, our world would be a different place.
Finley and Evelyn are still my amazing and wonderful and crazy-making children. Parenting continues to be the most demanding educational experience of my life. Finley's in first grade, thriving and learning so much, making new friends and gaining new skills, both emotionally and intellectually. Hurricane Evelyn daily blows through with imagination, creativity, dancing, stormy moods and piercing screams as well as lovely hugs and pictures to put on the fridge.
Projects around the house continually demand attention. Todd ripped out our bathroom floor upstairs after a leaky toilet tank ruined our IKEA flooring. We now have a nice new floor and a repaired toilet. A month or so ago, our septic pump broke down requiring a new pump and timer and much to our chagrin, relocating the raised bed that we had inadvertantly planted over our septic tank pump access lid! Another big ARGGHHH!! So we have been digging out both literally and figuratively, setting things right and changing course. Difficult but necessary choices are being made.
I have faith that this year will end much better than it was begun.
